By Candra Anaya

Before you go thinking I’m the antiChrist, it wasn’t me who launched a potentially World War III level kerfuffle at brunch by declaring, “I don’t tip servers.” It was my friend’s cousin who’s sentiments started the most lively debate I’ve witnessed in quite some time.

To get a fuller picture, imagine the following: four middle class women, one in her 30s and three in her 40s. One straight, one lesbian, and two somewhere in between. Two are college educated, two are not. Two have served as waitresses, two have not. One is differently abled, while three are…


Inspired by my friend, Sandy

By Candra Anaya

Knee deep I stand

feeling the tides crashing against me

The wave that meets my stance

has no other choice than to break

a hundred times, a thousand times over

I taste the spray of saltwater as it purifies my lips

At times I stand patiently for hours

witnessing the sun dance across the sky

as slowly as butter set atop the lowest flame to melt

I see water and sky kissing at the horizon

Formations of clouds drifting at a perfect pace

Giving me reprieve from the direct light of the sun

in moments when the…


Curious Bunny on the Longest Night of the Year

By Candra Anaya

Once upon a time, there was a very curious bunny. So curious in fact, that this became her name. She lived with her two mama bunnies in a forest filled with many bunny friends and their families. Her grandmother bunny lived in a tree nearby.

One day Curious Bunny decided to go exploring around the forest. She ended up jumping further and farther than she had ever been. Before she knew it, she looked all around and didn’t recognize any of the trees anymore. She called out for her mama bunnies and didn’t hear either mama chime…


By Candra Anaya

I offer you my kindest wishes for a completely inclusive, socially and economically responsible, planet conscious, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the religion of your liking while respecting the religions of others, or their choice to abandon religious traditions altogether. I extend these sentiments regardless of the highest level of education completed, marital status, race, age, gender, physical ability, religion, sexual orientation, gender identity, or employment. This offering remains valid regardless of your choice of computer platforms, the length of time you can or can not hold tree pose in yoga, if you…


3 Tips to Ease the Wait

By Candra Anaya

I’m writing this on the eve of my 32nd cancer call. For those of you who have never heard of such a communication, it’s the term I use after I have been tested for cancer and I am awaiting the results. I must admit, my score is awesome. Cancer: 1, Me: 30. That pesky little 1 doesn’t seem to stack up to 30 when I see it written here in black and white. However, having lived through getting the cancer call in the affirmative 1 time was enough to change my life forever.

My friends know by…


By Candra Anaya

Let me begin by saying I’m a 2 on the enneagram with a rock-solid 9 wing. For those of you who have no clue what that means, let me enlighten you. In no uncertain terms, I am a flaming co-dependent who can’t tolerate anyone fighting, ever. In more PC terms, I’m a caretaker and a peacemaker. So when it comes to Facebook fighting, I’m a novice. If I am brave enough to scroll through a fight, I do so with a rapidly beating heart trying to determine how I can restore peace to all parties involved as…


By Candra Anaya

The second I read of Kobe Bryant’s tragic death, I was hit with an onslaught of conflicting emotions. The NBA basketball player died in a helicopter crash along with his 14 year old daughter and several others. My immediate reaction was one of deep compassion, as I know firsthand the sea of pain created by an unexpected death of a family member.

As I scrolled through my newsfeed seeing dozens of posts glorifying this NBA athlete, I found my compassion extending not only to him and his family, but to the woman Kobe Bryant raped. I imagined…


Three years later it happened

By Candra Anaya

It was 2004 and the love of my life and I had recently purchased our first home. It was a fixer upper in a remote area in the woods near the Russian River in Northern California. A tiny town called Monte Rio, where if you blinked, you missed it. The downtown area consisted of several abandoned, dilapidated buildings that hadn’t been occupied in decades. Only two establishments had open signs: a convenience store and a bar called The Pink Elephant. …


Once You’ve Survived Fight, Flight or Freeze

By Candra Anaya

Christmas was 72 hours ago and I haven’t stopped crying in days. Over the past decade the month of December has snowballed from one traumatic event into another, resulting in a multitude of experiences producing the fight, flight or freeze response. Exactly 8 years ago I was in the hospital for my daughter’s birth. It was an extremely complicated venture wherein both mother and daughter’s lives were at risk. By the grace of the goddess, all survived. 7 years ago I was at my daughter’s 1st year birthday party when I got the call; I excused myself…


By Candra Anaya

Photo by Alyx Autuori @ The Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival 2003

I was scrolling through my newsfeed the other day when lo and behold, Facebook felt the need to interrupt my copasetic flow and alert me to a memory from almost a decade ago. I paused for an irritated moment and debated whether or not to click the notification. I was thoroughly enjoying this video of a drunk grandmother hitting on a manager at Walmart. If I followed the prompt to my past I’d never find out if Grandma Drunko scored with her hottie or not. Nor…

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store