DearQueer~ Am I Straight or Bi?

Gayly Giving Advice Straight from the Heart ~ April 2023

Candra Anaya
4 min readApr 24, 2023

DearQueer,

I identify as a heterosexual, cis-gender female, except when I drink, I am attracted to the ladies. One of the biggest long-term crushes I’ve ever had has been on a woman. Am I perhaps not as straight as I think? Any insight you could provide would be greatly appreciated.

Signed,

Confused

Dear Confused,

While I am tempted to respond by throwing you a coming-out party, I think it would better serve you to do a deeper dive into your sexual exploration. Have you heard of the Kinsey scale? A research team headed by Dr. Kinsey interviewed thousands of people anonymously about their sexual histories. Because the participant’s identities were protected, they were free to be explicitly honest without it affecting their relationships, careers, or social status. What the researchers discovered is that sexual behavior, thoughts, and feelings towards the same or opposite sex are not always consistent throughout time. Attempting to box humanity into three categories- heterosexual, bisexual, and homosexual- is too restrictive. Instead, Dr. Kinsey developed a seven-point scale ranging from 0 to 6 with an additional category of “X.” They determined we each move around on…

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Candra Anaya
Candra Anaya

Written by Candra Anaya

Advice columnist, DearQueer~ Gayly Giving Advice Straight from the Heart. Co-author of bestseller, The Life-Changing Power of Self-Love. https://CandraAnaya.com

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