Dear Queer ~ Medication for Life?
Gayly Giving Advice Straight from the Heart ~ November 2024
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Dear Queer,
I was told I have congestive heart failure. These f**kers gave me medicine to help with edema. I feel like it’s a death sentence to have to take a pill every day of my life, so I don’t take them regularly like I should and now my legs are swollen. I’m nervous because I can’t get the swelling down. I don’t want to go to the hospital because I can’t afford to be out of commission. I can’t see me taking any pill the rest of my life! What else can I try? Something more natural!
Signed,
Stubborn and Southern
Dear SS,
Yikes, my friend. I’ve got to ask, do you know my medical herstory? Either way, if you do or if you don’t, it doesn’t matter. I’m convinced it’s no coincidence you are asking me, of all people. Rewind 20 years and I was your next-door neighbor on Resistance Lane. Take medication? Never. Did I go so far as to call doctors “f**kers” too? You bet I did. And did those lil’ f**kers end up saving my life? You bet they did.
Once upon a time, I fretted about taking medications, too. I went through all kinds of judgments, both internally and externally, with friends and family. It took honest reflection, and eventually, I identified my reluctance and was able to free myself from its deceptive trappings. My dear Southern Stubborn, I empathetically suggest you do the same.
It may come as a surprise to you, but most individuals do not refer to doctors as “f**kers”. While I am as big a fan as any of dropping the F-bomb, it is a strong word generally reserved for equally powerful feelings. You need to get to the root of why you carry such a hefty reaction to those with advanced medical degrees. Did a doctor ever harm you or a loved one? Did you lose someone and blame their MD for not saving them? The possibilities for why you feel the way you do are endless, but hear me when I say this:
Feelings are not facts.
While how you feel is incredibly important, it is entirely fleeting. We experience over 400 emotions per day. Our brains are designed to prioritize emotions over rational thought. Case in point: a person is given a ticket to travel around the world. Are their travels promised to be perfect? Not necessarily, but the ticket assures them the safest travel possible. Now, the curveball. They don’t like the person who gifted them the ticket- so much so, they’d allow the feeling of dislike to rob them of the experience of globe-trotting until their heart is content. Is that decision rational? No. But feelings are tricky little f**kers (see what I did there?) and can steal what is rightfully yours.
What in the world does this case have to do with you? Well Stubborn, you are presently turning down the opportunity to travel the world (aka, stay alive) all because you don’t like the ticket bearer (aka, the doctor). Are you picking up what I’m laying down? Good. Are you starting to panic? No need. I gotchu. Here’s what you need to do:
A. Figure out your why — Why do you consider doctors to be f**kers? This might require therapy. Do it. If you don’t have the funds, call free mental health support lines and talk it out. Low and no-cost resources are here.
B. Express your feelings (remember they’re fleeting!) about it — in a journal, to a friend, or in a support group. Honor why you feel the way you do. Then, most importantly, notice how your emotions shift once you identify and choose to release them.
C. Put on your grown-up pants and flip the script. Rather than approach taking medication every day with, I have to replace it with, Thank you. I am grateful I have this choice as an option. Not everyone who is sick has a condition that medicine can fix or is fortunate enough to have doctors or pharmacies available to them.
Honestly, flipping the script works. I speak from lived experiences. Yours truly has been afforded more than a decade's worth of life because I take 1/2 of a tiny ass pill every single day. I would be dead within 6 weeks without it. Instead of kicking the bucket back in 2013 when I was diagnosed, I get to see my daughter turn 13 years old later this year. Do you know what else I got to do because I flipped the script?
See my daughter graduate from kindergarten.
Land my first article on the front page of a newspaper.
Become a best-selling author in The Life-Changing Power of Self Love.
Take my kid to her very first stadium concert (we saw P!NK, and it was one of the best nights of my life).
Heck, I even won at a casino! Ok, it was only $81.12, but still. Now, when my number is up, I’ll be able to say I died a winner.
The list goes on. These highlights are merely moments- experiences I would never have been afforded without that tiny, blue 1/2 pill I take every single day. When my medication reminder goes off, the affirmation pops up on my phone, Thank you for my life, and it reminds me to pause and give thanks. Being stubborn can be an exceptional quality when you redirect your loyalty where it belongs, from feelings back to facts.
Fact: You only have one heart.❤️ Be stubborn by treating her right.️
Ok, your final assignment may be the easiest. Mosey on over to my website and grab your FREE Love Letter Meditation. Remember when I asked if you knew my medical herstory? Well, a giant portion includes using the Love Letter Meditation alongside Western medicine to heal from a life-threatening triple diagnosis. You asked for something more natural, and this is as pure as it gets.
Lastly, scroll forward in your calendar to November 2034. Please add, Write Dear Queer an update. I want to hear the highlights of the happiest moments your tiny little pill afforded you over the next ten years, too. Who knows? Maybe we’ll run into each other at a P!NK concert? From my ever-lovin' healthy heart to yours~
Stay queer, my dear!
Buy me a coffee here. Thank you for empowering independent voices!
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P.S. Did you hear? Dear Queer, AKA Candra Anaya’s very first collaborative book, The Life-Changing Power of Self-Love, is officially a #1 Amazon Bestseller! For autographed copies and SPECIAL DISCOUNTS, order here. Are you a Dear Queer Fan? Say so on the order form and I’ll gift you a FREE Dear Queer sticker ($5 value) with each book order!
