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Dear Queer ~ Wedding Blues

Gayly Giving Advice Straight from the Heart ~ July 2024

Candra Anaya
4 min readJul 9, 2024

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Dear Queer,

I am my girlfriend’s plus one to a formal wedding and I don’t know what to wear. It’s a straight couple, and the groom is a childhood friend. He knows my girlfriend is gay, so I assume he knows her plus one will be too? I know don’t wear white so as not to compete with the bride, but it’s not the bride I’m concerned about. I want to wear a tux, but?? How should a masc presenting womxn dress for a straight wedding?

Thanks,

Feeling Naked

Photo by Marc A. Sporys on Unsplash

Hey Feeling Naked,

When I was in my twenties, my long-term partner was a bride’s maid at her sister’s wedding. We were the only queer couple at a venue so straight it would even deny a rainbow in the sky after a storm. Since my girlfriend was in the wedding party, we couldn’t fly under the radar. We had front-row seats to the ceremony and sat at the family table for the grand dinner. My girlfriend was feminine, with long, flowing hair nearly to her waist. She had the fortune (or misfortune- as the case may be) of having the bride’s maid's dress to wear. But me? I had a shaved head and was forever married to the grunge scene. The most formal wear in my closet was jeans…

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Candra Anaya
Candra Anaya

Written by Candra Anaya

Advice columnist, Dear Queer ~Gayly Giving Advice Straight from the Heart. Co-author of bestseller The Life-Changing Power of Self-Love. https://CandraAnaya.com

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