Candra Anaya
1 min readOct 29, 2023

Thank you for writing your views on this sensitive matter. I've lived a life that is riddled with editing for the sake of "protecting my child". An example- I was diagnosed with cancer when she was 1, however we never used the word cancer in front of her until she asked me directly when she was 8 or 9 if I had ever had cancer. I could not believe what a relief it was to finally tell her. As with any relationship with secrets, there was a wall between us (even if my heart was in the right place- it created distance nonetheless). I am a very strong advocate with being 100% honest AND with that being said, I also believe in age appropriate-ness. I've gotten super comfortable saying, "You know I will always tell you the truth, and some truths I need to wait until you are older. This is one of those times. I promise we will talk about this when you're..." and then I give an age guestiment, based on whatever the issue is at hand. This has worked brilliantly. I highly recommend it!

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Candra Anaya
Candra Anaya

Written by Candra Anaya

Advice columnist, Dear Queer ~Gayly Giving Advice Straight from the Heart. Co-author of bestseller The Life-Changing Power of Self-Love. https://CandraAnaya.com

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